*MAJOR UPDATE*

This is an open BETA of the multiplayer system. If there are any bugs please let us know by emailing support@sweetescapevr.com so we can fix it and make it better :-D

What? You thought we had abandoned you like our childhood dreams to be a famous action hero? Well, we’re back and, man, we broke a lot of things along the way. Hearts, code, servers, the foundations of space time, and so many cans of energy drinks.

How else did you expect us to get so skinny? You noticed, right? We dropped half our size in this update. It was hard work too. Last time we dropped this much weight was the morning after we thought trying to get on the “30 Tacos or more” Wall of Shame at our favorite Mexican place was a good idea. Life tip, it’s never a good idea. But this update was. And now our summer bikini bodies are ready. Time to play!

Speaking of not playing by yourself, we’ve injected a little instant action into our multiplayer. No more lobbys or small talk or trying to figure out if the one night thing is worth the regret. It’s now one button push and you’re in, wham, climbing giant mounds of sugary goodness. There’s nothing like jumping into the action with someone you just met and grabbing two handfuls of victory while top. Hey, we’re talking about our new multiplayer here. No teasing here, one push and you’re in!

Soooo, yeah, we forgot to tell you something. If you die in Sweet Escape, we kinda, sorta, own your soul. Yeah, it’s in that small type somewhere in the code when you start the game. When you die in the game, your soul is captured and we make it play against your friends when you’re soullessly wandering the real world. Good thing is you can haunt your friends scoreboards by all the rounds you played before. Round after round, your well trained ghost soul can trounce his real avatar in each game. Hell, we’re even breaking the laws of paranormal paradoxical metaphysics and making your own ghost haunt you. Now you can proverbially feel what it’s like to kick yourself in your own junk. Hurts, don’t it?

Since we were talking about your friends, or soon to be ex-friends, lets talk about our new leaderboards. Our new leaderboards will stack you up against everyone and showcase all the shiny new high scores you’ll be getting, so you’re going to be making a lot of enemies. But don’t worry, while it’s lonely at the top, it’s one helluva view to look down at all the slow losers called your friends.

And who doesn’t like the digital merit badges called Achievements? We certainly love them. It’s like the gaming world’s version of Who’s shoes are bigger (substitute “shoes” for anything, like sandwiches or cars or crippling student loan debt). It’s an ego building exercise. We want to squeeze all that dopamine out of your gland when that little unlock notification pops up. We want you to feel good about everything you’ve accomplished in your life. We’re here for you. We love you. We would never lie to you.

Oh, you didn’t like looking at the same player face and body beating you time and time again? Now everyone can customize their avatars so you can get beat in many different faces. Isn’t diversity fun?

Finally, we updated art. What did you expect? Not every one of these has to be funny? We updated the art because we wanted it to look better. Sometimes, it’s good to do things just to make the world a better, more enjoyable place. It’s also really really close to the deadline for release and we just got lazy. Do you want funny release notes or really kick ass new art? Yeah, we thought so. Stop complaining.